Wolverine+Jubilee+Gambit+Rogue+Storm=Trouble
by The Mad Cows
Summary: Repost under the right authors. Previously under silvereagle, now under silvereagle and fyrephoenix, better known as The Mad Cows!!!


"Please please pleeeease!" Jubilee put on what she hoped was her most pleading and innocent look. Behind her, Rogue gagged.  
Wolverine sighed. He could never resist Jubilee's pleas. "Okay kid, you can come to the zoo with us, but promise you won't ask for ice-cream again. You've already had five today."  
Remy came into the kitchen. "Are you people ready yet?" Jubilee polished off the last of her fifth ice cream and chirped, "I'm going too!" Remy groaned.  
###  
Storm was heading out to the garden when she heard the sound of an engine starting. She turned to see Logan at the wheel and Rogue, Remy and Jubilee climbing into Scott's SUV.  
"Where are you all going?"  
"So much for your idea of sneaking out, Cajun," Logan snarled at Remy, who smiled innocently at Storm.  
"Wherever you're going, Logan plus Remy is a recipe for trouble, so I am coming with you." Everyone groaned, Storm included.  
"Do ya have ta, Stormy?" Remy put on HIS most pleading and innocent look, which unfortunately looked like a grimace (obviously it didn't work).  
"Firstly, yes, unless you want Scott to come with you." Logan choked. "Tightass? NO WAY!!!"  
Storm ignored Logan, "Secondly, Remy, DO NOT CALL ME STORMY!"  
@@@  
"It's all your fault, bub!"  
"Dis homme ain't dun anything wrong!"  
"I want another ice-cream, Wolvie!"  
"Hey sugah, no more sugah for ya."  
"By the way, where are we going?" said Storm.  
"What, you don't know?"  
"To the zoo, lady."  
"For once, that's okay."  
***  
At the zoo, Logan conveniently forgot to bring any money, so Storm had to pay for the five admission tickets. As Jubilee skipped through the gates, she immediately spotted (what else?) an ice cream stall. Storm gave her a warning glance. Jubilee wilted. And turned to Logan.   
"Damn. Hey kid, I've got no money with me now." Guess who had to pay.  
Storm, completely annoyed with Logan, decided to bring Jubilee to the Petting Zoo while Logan, Remy and Rogue went off on their own.  
When Storm was out of sight, Remy and Logan started arguing about where to go next. Rogue solved the problem by dragging them both off to the bird exhibits. "The perfect place for birdbrains like the two of ya."  
While Logan was staring at an exhibit, trying to figure out where the bird was, Remy ran off to the aviary with a wicked glint in his eye.  
When Logan finally got to the aviary, the first parrot he met opened his beak and…  
"Gambit rules, Gambit rules, Wolverine is a sucker!"  
Logan glared at Remy who was trying to appear innocent by whistling a tune (which JUST so happened to be the same one that the parrot was singing the song to).  
Logan rolled his eyes at Remy, silently plotting his revenge. They went over to Rogue, who was looking at a peacock, which was spreading out its tail feathers.  
"Whatcha lookin' at, chere?"  
"That peacock's beautiful tail feathers, sugah."  
"Well chere, you should be lookin' at ME, de great Gamby, de magnificent Remy LeBeau, de awesome King of Thieves!"  
A security guard came bumbling up. "The King of what?"  
Remy gulped and stammered, "Erm, erm, the King of Aces." He ran off after Rogue and Logan who had long walked off and had not been listening to him.  
Just then, an audible SPLAT could be heard. Logan stared at Rogue and muttered under his breath, "Don't look now, Rogue, but your white streak just got whiter."  
%%%  
Half an hour and six hair washings later, the trio met Storm and Jubilee at the Animal Show arena. Logan, noticing Storm looking at Rogue's wet hair, said out of the side of his mouth, "It might not be such a good thing to ask, darlin'."  
They were interrupted by Jubilee's cheer. "Look, ice-cream!"  
+++  
They found good seats just as the opening music blared out. "Hey, cut the volume down. SOME people don't like loud music ya know," Logan growled under his breath.  
Three elephants lumbered out with their trainers beside them. "Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the Animal Show!"  
Logan's eyes lit up when he heard that they were asking for volunteers. He poked Remy in the butt and Remy hurriedly stood up. "Hey, whatcha do-" "And that gentleman over there with the sunglasses please step forward!"  
"Huh? They talkin' 'bout Remy?" Remy's eyes opened wide as he realised what Logan had done. "Why you-" He got no further. Logan gave him a shove and he reluctantly made his way to the stage.  
"Your name?"  
"Remy LeBeau."  
"Very well, Mr LeBeau, why don't you give Gambira, our female elephant, a sugarcane?" Remy had no chance to reply as a sugarcane was shoved into his hands. Having no choice, he fed Gambira with the sugarcane. The crowd clapped as Rogue stared angrily at the elephant who was gazing at Remy with adoring eyes.  
Making the best of the situation, the announcer smiled and said, "Mr LeBeau, why don't you close your eyes? I'm sure Gambira has a surprise for you."  
Having no choice again, Remy obeyed. His reward was a wet sloppy kiss on the cheek. Opening his eyes, he saw Rogue fuming. "Merde," he muttered.  
Gambit, with a huge sigh of relief, saw Gambira and the other two elephants going backstage. Gambira was still gazing at him with adoring eyes. The announcer asked Remy to hold up a dollar bill. Remy searched his pocket and sheepishly held up a playing card.  
"That'll do," the announcer said. "Though we've never had anything like this before. Okay, hold it up!" Remy did as he was told. In the stands, Logan was doubled over, laughing. "What a good boy," he cooed. Storm looked at him suspiciously. "What in the name of the goddess are you two up to?"  
Just then, the announcer whistled and a brightly coloured lorikeet swooped down, snatched the card and flew off again. Unaccustomed to carrying Gambit's heavy card, the lorikeet dropped it into the sea lion pool.  
"Awwww, my Ace of Spades!"  
~~~  
When the show finally ended, Remy tried to appease Rogue by suggesting that they should have a photograph taken with the animals. Rogue cheered up slightly and followed Remy.   
At the photo booth, the ticketer told them, "You have three choices: Elephants," Rogue stared at the elephant photo stand and saw Gambira STILL gazing at Gambit with adoring eyes. "No way!" she said. Gambit sighed.   
"Pythons," the ticketer continued. Gambit stared at the thirty-foot long reticulated python. "No way!" he gulped.  
"Or chimpanzees." Since it was the only choice left, Remy and Rogue agreed. They made their way to the chimpanzee stand and lined up. After what seemed like eternity, they were finally ushered to the tree stump that served as a bench. Looking back, they saw the others with white hair and cobwebs on. (Just kidding). Jubilee was holding yet another ice-cream.  
A furry chimpanzee sat in between them both, eyeing Remy's bulging pocket. Rogue eyed the chimp suspiciously. Remy eyed Rogue. The chimpanzee shoved her hand into Remy's pocket and took out a card. She put it into her mouth. It never came out. Remy checked his decks and groaned. "Awwww, my Ace of Diamonds!" The chimpanzee continued to search Remy for more cards. Rogue glared at Remy and pulled a card out of his pocket. She ripped it to shreds. "Awwww, my Ace of Hearts!"  
When the photograph finally came out, Remy was covered in confetti that looked SUSPICIOUSLY like shredded cards, which the chimpanzee was stuffing into her mouth. Rogue was fuming. In two minutes, she had ripped up half Remy's card supply.   
Remy looked at the weird photograph. "Awwww, my money!" Storm leaned over. "You mean MY money!" She rifled his pocket and triumphantly pulled out a single card, which she promptly tore to pieces.   
"Awwww, my Ace of Clubs!"  
$$$  
They headed for the exit. Jubilee immediately ran to the Gift Shop, conveniently buying an ice-cream along the way. The X-Men crowded into the Gift Shop.  
Ten minutes later, they stumbled out of the store, weighed down by their souvenirs. Logan had cigars with a wolverine on each. Jubilee had SOMEHOW got another ice-cream. Rogue had surprisingly bought a shirt featuring Gambira. "It's for me ta tear up when Ah get back," she explained. Remy winced. He had replenished his card supply, except that they were animal-backed. Storm walked out with an empty wallet. "It was full when we came!"  
They walked out through the exit, Jubilee clutching an ice-cream in each hand. "How many have ya had today, sugah?"  
"I don't know but I could eat another one."  
"Ah shouldn't have asked."  
()()()  
Later that night, Logan was in the kitchen drinking his beer while Jubilee finished up yet another ice-cream. Storm stormed in holding a homemade bill for $144.10. "This is what you owe me." Logan did a double take. "What the ! What for?"  
"The admission tickets - 5 x $14.90, Rogue and Remy's chimpanzee photograph - $5, your cigars - $9, Rogue's shirt - $20, Gambit's cards - $16 and Jubilee's SEVEN ice creams - 7 x $2.80, bringing the total to $144.10."  
"Damn." 


End file.
